Sanford's Couchtime

Okay, I know I've been away for months, but I heard such a jaw-dropping statement this morning that I just have to unload. Unless you live in the antarctic and have lost your generator, you have probably heard of Governor Mark Sanford's recent indiscretions, lying to everybody, cheating on his wife with some Appalachian Trail, I mean Argentinian Tail, and, like most proven Republican hypocrites, planning to stay on in charge of an entire state despite his apparently total lack of judgment and trustworthiness.
What knocked my socks off this morning, though, was a statement made by Sanford's spiritual advisor, Warren "Cubby" Culbertson. Speaking about MARRIAGE, Cubby said, "For most Christians, if you're married long enough, you do it because that's what we're called to do, out of obedience instead of out of passion."
Really? Is this guy married? More to the point, if so, does his wife watch the news, and do you think he'll still be married NEXT week? Ye Gods, if that's the kind of advice he has for the Governor and his unfortunate wife, it's no wonder Sanford comes across as a volume or two shy of a trilogy. It's just too silly for words. Maybe you have to be Christian to see otherwise, but I believe that people marry for love, or they marry unwisely. They STAY married for love, or they stay married unwisely. Nobody is helped by a marriage built on lies, least of all Jehovah, who I'm sure has bigger worries.
Do I think it's newsworthy that Sanford is a liar, a cheat, and seemingly only loosely screwed together? Yes, I do; he was elected to a position of great trust and responsibility by the people, and he lied to them, served them recklessly, and made half the population (men) look bad by association. I mean really, his bland assumption that his wife will take him back, given enough time, disprespects women blatantly. Has it not occurred to him that she might LEAVE him there by the curb? I'm sure it has occurred to HER.

Andy

Palin is E E Cummings

I finally figured out what's going on with Sarah Palin. It's not that she's stupid. It's not that she doesn't read, other than maybe "The Assembly of God News and Jew-fixin' Manual." It's not that she got kicked in the head by a moose as a child. It's simply that she is E E Cummings reincarnated. Think about it!

"next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
that the terrorists do not cross borders
in a position of attackin' America
we're gonna do what we have to do
never to show our cards um to terrorists my
country tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it if Americans
so bless us and um soldiers on a task
from God acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh Joe Six-pack
rulings there have been rulings
a vast variety of sources
so I can do whatever I want until
the courts tell me I can't"

She spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water

Sarah Palin. Who?!

Oh, my, but the pundits are running in circles. John McCain (remember him?), who has attacked Barack Obama for relying on his superstar status, has chosen Sarah Palin, a former beauty queen, to be his running mate. A quick scan of opinion runs the gamut from "Yay, I can vote for McCain because she's conservative enough" to "this is a hail-mary pass in the wrong direction." Paraphrased, since I didn't take note of sources while skimming.

My initial thoughts, in no particular order. It will be interesting to see how her beauty pageant history plays with feminists. I don't expect environmentalists will be tempted for a moment, given her positions on drilling and polar bears. I noted that one Alaskan blogger refers to her as "Governess." Am I wrong in finding that weird? Her executive experience comes from being on the council, then briefly mayor, of Wasilla, population 8,471, followed by less than 19 months so far as Governor (governess?) of Alaska, population 683,000.

She opposes same-sex marriage, doesn't want polar bears protected, supports teaching Creationism in the schools, and would be a heartbeat (this guy's heartbeat) away from the presidency if elected.

The notion that "attractive and a woman" equals electability is a far cry from the idea that it is a measure of readiness to stand first in line to succeed to the presidency. Her Washington experience is exactly the size of Karl Rove's heart, and her foreign-policy experience, a factor declared critical by conservatives when discussing Obama, is nonexistent.

It's looking more and more as if the next president will have to not only keep Bush's pledge
to capture Bin Laden (remember HIM?), but also repair our disastrous standing with other world powers after his cowboy "diplomacy." I can't see where Palin fits into that need.

Back to the attractive-woman angle, if McCain thinks the women who supported Hillary Clinton so ardently will see Palin as a replacement, he's in for an enormous surprise.

Not all sacrifices are voluntary

I once helped a woman to cut a small branch from a tree so she could fashion a ritual wand from it. I remember being astounded that, given a sharp knife, the use of both hands, and a branch within reach, there would be any need for help. I was younger and dumber then; now I know that the skill sets possessed by perfectly regular people vary widely, and that some people really shouldn't be left to handle sharp tools without close supervision.
A case in point is the story of Katherine Gunther, who went to a cemetery in order to give thanks in a ceremony for a recent run of good luck. Non-Pagans reading this, rest assured that this, while not off the charts, is not representative of everyday Pagan behavior. I myself give thanks from a cozy chair next to a small fire-circle in my yard. Anyway, Katherine was aiming to stab her 36-inch sword into the ground shortly after midnight (sheesh), when she accidentally put it through her foot.
Lest anyone think Wiccans are silly for having practices which can cause injury like this, take a moment and read this story about a pastor whose use of a dirt-bike during a sermon, in a church, caused at least as much suffering. Or this one about a Pastor who does "Priesto Magic" blowing off part of his finger with a malfuncioning wand while making a duck disappear.
I can't find a reference for it online, but I once saw a news item about the subject of an exorcism dying accidentally as the result of a crucifix having been shoved down her throat. I guess we could all use a little more common sense sometimes. My advice to Gunther is this: Don't give up your rituals, quirky as they may be, because even the Gods like a little entertainment now and then. Don't even get rid of that sword, although a good cleansing ritual might be in order. Just add steel-toed boots, and maybe a flashlight, to your ritual gear. See? Problem solved.

Pagan Faith Community

The latest entry in The Wild Hunt, my favorite Pagan news blog, got me thinking (as it often does). The entry has to do with a community in Texas that is concerned about proselytizing. No, really! Residents are worried about the motives, the pushiness, of religious adherents who would go so far as to leave a holy book on a stranger's doorstep. Well, okay, the books being left on stoops are Qurans, and in the minds of too many Christian Americans, that's not THE holy book. I've been trying to put my finger on just why this kind of thing pisses me off. It's too pervasive and nasty-minded to simplify into a cogent argument, though. I have a cartoon pinned up in my office, I think from the New Yorker, that shows a spare and forbidding church on a well-kept lawn. It's a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, and there's a No Soliciting sign on the lawn.
That's funny, but maybe not, because I bet you wouldn't have to search hard to find a real-world example of that.
Christians want to proclaim their beliefs, because they think they've got religion right. Interfering with their right to do so provokes claims of persecution and religious intolerance. But then the same people jump all over others who feel the same way, and want to proclaim their religion. Why should they, on their way out the door to distribute tracts, have to trip over some Godless "holy book"?! Where's the respect for other people's beliefs?
I'm tired of it. I'm not going to suggest that Pagans take up proselytizing, because I do believe that people should find their own way to their own beliefs. Nor do I advocate tracting church parking lots with copies of "The Other People." I just think it's time we Pagans claim our place as a "faith community." Too many articles, polls, and studies have an underlying assumption that "religious" means "Judeo-Christian," that "faith" means "belief in Jesus," that "values" means "Judeo-Christian values."
I am a practicing Pagan. I have faith, I belong to a faith community that is vibrant and positive, I consider myself to be very religious, and I have values. I am clergy, an elder, and a leader in my church. Many of us can say the same, but do we say it publicly?
I confess that I often allude to it generally, but not bravely. I decline a position on a committee because I have "so many commitments," not because my clergy leadership roles, both in my church and statewide, require my attention.
That's going to change. You other Pagans out there, I hope you consider following along. From here on out, I'm further out of the broom closet. I describe my religious activities in terms that make it perfectly clear that I am a Pagan, one of many in my area, and that my people comprise a faith community. We're here, we're values voters, we're religious.
Get used to it.

Faith-based Obama

Barack Obama, making an early move in the traditional post-nomination shift toward the center, is touting the Bush program which provides public money for religious institutions that perform public services, often called faith-based initiatives. The Washington Post article quotes Obama: "What I'm saying is that we all have to work together -- Christian and Jew, Hindu and Muslim, believer and nonbeliever alike -- to meet the challenges of the 21st century."

I never liked the program before, and I'm not going to start liking it now. It assists mainstream religions to become more mainstream, leaving other faiths outside the circle of firelight, certainly out of reach of the pork-barrel, if I may combine metaphors into a nice barbecue. Just one example of the kind of problems that have been exacerbated by the cash influx is given here. Teen Challenge, one recipient, actively converts Jews to Christianity while getting them off drugs. GWB made it plain early in his first term that he didn't consider Paganism to be a real religion, and I'm waiting to hear word from Obama.

I still support Obama, don't get me wrong, but I'm not happy about this. According to the Pew Forum U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, "Other" religions are big democrats. In the shift to the center, I hope he doesn't leave them behind. I believe, as do many, that the government should not subcontract social work, education, or indeed anything, to religious institutions.

Bud Wise Errrrr

Okay, so Belgian mega-beverage company InBev is offering 46.3 Billion for Anheuser-Busch company. I'm flabbergasted, and have just one question: have the Belgians actually tasted Budweiser?! The well-known trope has it that American beer is like making love in a canoe (fucking close to water), and Budweiser is the iconic American beer. At my favorite bar, I was only slightly done in, probably by Black and Oranges, when I thought there was Bud coming out of the bathroom taps. Hey, it's an honest mistake! If those silly Belgians had tasted the stuff, they would have considered buying something drinkable, like Anchor or Guinness.

Anheuser-Busch seems to be trying to nip this in the Bud (hee!) by merging with Mexico's Grupo Modelo SAB. According to the AP article linked above, "Anheuser-Busch approached Carlos Fernandez, chief executive of Modelo and an Anheuser-Busch director, about a deal in recent weeks." Oh, great! So where you can't drink the water, you can at least get fucking close to it by drinking El Bud.

I did not know this: John McCain's wife, Cindy, according to the AP article above, "shares roughly $1 million worth of Anheuser-Busch stock with the McCain children. Cindy McCain's father founded...the third-largest Anheuser-Busch wholesaler in the United States." If the offer goes through, it might leave the Republican nominee wealthier from the trend of foreigners buying up a weakening America. I wonder if he has finished reading Greenspan's book yet?